By Sheri

MICHAEL LOHAN:  SHAMELESS MEDIA HOG OR DOMESTIC ABUSER?

Oh man! You know how psychologists always say that if kids who are starving for attention can’t get the positive kind, they’ll go for the negative? Well, Michael Lohan may have Peter Pan Syndrome (among other problems!) because he just can’t stop trying for as much media attention as humanly possible. Even his past partner in (starved for media attention) crime, Jon Gosselin, seems to have stopped begging for a talk show or interviews or the chance to publicly dis Kate ever single chance he could!

But Michael Lohan never stopped. I was almost (I said almost!) even starting to think that his primary motive was caring about his daughter, Lindsay Lohan, as he brought her water in court when no one else would and called out “We love you, Lindsay” as she was cuffed and ready to be taken to her jail cell. But very, very soon after that…which was just after appearing on every talk show he could (with his lawyer, Lisa Bloom, WTF did he need a lawyer for other than to add more drama?) to talk about his daughter going to jail…

Michael Lohan is in the news right away again in a story that his fiance, Kate Major, was now his ex-fiance because she was charging him with domestic abuse. According to Major, Lohan threw a shoe at her which caused her to hit her head on a wall and he pushed her off her chair, then kicked her when she was on the floor. (Oh Lordy! WTF?)

Kate Major insists that Michael Lohan then said “I am going to go back to jail because I’m going to kill you.” Whether he’s a bad domestic abuser or doing it to try to get more media attention by trying to pull a fake Mel Gibson and then be faced with jail to keep being tied to his daughter for media fame, it doesn’t matter cuz either way, the guy’s a total jerk!!!

What is wrong with this Kate Major? She dated Jon Gosselin then gets engaged to Michael Lohan? BTW, Major was pissed when Gosselin denied he ever dated her. “Jon is a liar!”  Major insisted. “I would love Jon to take a lie detector test.” Yeah, well I would love for Kate Major to take a jerk detector test to help her figure out why she keeps dating total losers like Jon Gosselin and Michael Lohan!

(BTW, on the off chance that anyone gives a flyin’ damn, Michael Lohan’s court date for the domestic violence harassment charge is set for August 18 in Southampton, New York.)

By Sheri

WTF HAPPENED TO SERENA WILLIAMS’ FOOT?

As Judge Judy says, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!” Serena Williams just announced that she’ll be missing 3 tennis tournies right before the August 30 start of the US Open because she cut the bottom of her foot on broken glass in a restaurant and will need foot surgery to correct it.

Before anyone can confront her about the gaping, WTF holes in that story, she states she won’t discuss any details of the “accident.”

Now, how does a person presumably wearing shoes cut the bottom of her foot on broken glass in a restaurant of all places? This makes no sense! No sense! And if by some miracle this really did happen, why would a person who stepped on some dishes barefoot and had some cuts on the bottom of her foot need surgery that would have her down for the count? At most, a few stitches maybe. (Hey, you know I once knocked the butter dish out of my aunt’s fridge, stepped on the glass from it in bare feet and didn’t even need stitches…)

THE BIG QUESTION: If Serena really hurt the bottom of her right foot like she says, then why was she wearing 2 bandages on the top of said foot in photographs taken at Denver Nuggets player, Carmelo Anthony’s July 10 wedding?

It really gets me pissed when people make up something totally unbelievable then refuse to talk about it!!! I don’t want to care. I don’t want to have to know what really happened. But damn it all, don’t insult my intelligence! Now the wheels of my mind are left to spin (so dangerous lol!) to try and solve the ridiculous puzzle of WTF happened to Serena Williams’ foot! It’s Sunday morning. I should be relaxing with the newspaper while eating Eggs Benny or something, but no, it’s Serena Williams’ stinkin’ foot that I’m thinking about. ARRGH!

By Sheri

WILL SMITH, JADA PINKETT-SMITH & TOM CRUISE
AT WEST L.A.’S SADDLE RANCH CHOP HOUSE

(WTF — DID TOM AND JADA SPLIT AN OUTFIT???)

Photo: Kmm/X17 Online

If you’re gonna make a sort of a Western love story movie and you want to try out a bunch of actors at a table script reading, then it stands to reason you’d want to take them to a Western-themed restaurant in West Los Angeles with a goofy name like The Saddle Ranch Chop House, doesn’t it? Well, if you’re Will Smith, then apparently it makes perfect sense cuz that’s just what he did recently.

Smith’s production company, Overbrook Productions, had a slew of actors at the eatery as a part of casting for the upcoming film, Paper Wings. The movie’s about a romance between a rodeo star and a wannabe country singer. The rumor so far is that Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz are up for the lead roles, but that’s only a rumor. (Another one is that Will Smith is starting to get into Scientology…)

Among the other actors at the Saddle Ranch table read were Reese Witherspoon and Tom Arnold. (Can you imagine them together in the leads? Oh no, that’s just all wrong!) Maybe Tom Arnold is being considered for a supporting role… It’s interesting that another ex-Roseanne sitcommer, Johnny Galecki (David) was at the read too. (Love him!) So was Jenna Elfman  (not from Roseanne, but had her own sitcom, Dharma and Greg).

I wonder if most actors think table reads are easier than on stage auditions? I guess it wouldn’t make much difference… or would it? Would any actors like to comment and prove me wrong? Go ahead — make my day!

Anyway, Paper Wings sounds like it could be good… I’d probably watch it. Now that I’ve boycotted all Mel Gibson films, I’ve got some openings in my movie watching schedule!

By Sheri

JESSICA SIMPSON AND ERIC JOHNSON IN ITALY

What a way to spend your 30th birthday – all low-key and lovey-dovey with your new boyfriend in Italy as well as in the company of a few old friends. That’s how Jessica Simpson did it as she turned the big 3 Oh on Saturday, July 10. Her friends and sweetie, Eric Johnson, surprised Simpson with a cake and the tone for the Italian trip was laid back just the way Jessica wanted it. She had commented to press that she wanted to get away to Italy to relax and apparently it was mission accomplished.

I guess she needed a break from filming the second season of her reality show, The Price Of Beauty. (I have to fess up that I haven’t seen the show yet. The one time I had the chance to catch it I passed on it for something else and I can’t even remember what!) Hey, though, I admire the woman! I’ve seen the way she stands up for herself and admire her for the way she handled the “chubby” remarks she so rudely received.  People can just be so judgmental and just mental..

Simpson’s fallen for another footballer this time, so hopefully the romance will end better than it did with Tony Romo. Interestingly, Romo broke up with Jessica on her birthday last year and now here she is on her birthday this year with a new football guy.

Eric Johnson, 30, hasn’t actually played football officially since 2008 due to an ankle injury the free agent suffered. Johnson’s played for the San Francisco 49ers and the New Orleans Saints. Apparently the word on the street is that Johnson is a nice guy who won’t hurt Jessica… (hopefully, he won’t embarrass her by announcing she’s “sexual napalm” either like that ass clown John Mayer did!)

By Sheri

LINDSAY LOHAN HAS ONLY 2 WEEKS OF FREEDOM LEFT

Lindsay Lohan appeared in the Beverly Hills Municipal Court this afternoon for her probation hearing. (She entered the court a smart 10 minutes early and was dressed much more conservatively than last time.) Her expression looked rather indignant, yet also alert and concerned as she scribbled something on a legal pad (as well as F****You on  her left middle fingernail apparently!) during the prosecution’s grilling as the prosecution told the judge that Lindsay violated the terms of the probation. Stemming from her 2007 DUI, drug possession and second DUI, the judge had ordered that Lohan was to attend alcohol education classes regularly.

The prosecution argued that Lindsay had missed 9 classes. The judge looked through excuse reports from the alcohol education center. Lindsay herself spoke saying she wasn’t taking this as a joke and didn’t know she was thought to be in violation. She was given permission from the center to make up the times she said; due to her career she had a different schedule than most people (this is true — film business, but still). The judge said that she had ruled that no matter what Lindsay was to have gone to every class without missing any.

The prosecutor grilled the co-owner of the alcohol education center, Cheryl Marshall, who seemed scared to death and confused. Marshall testified that Lohan did go to the classes including group classes. The prosecutor had to ask Marshall several times how many people were in the group classes — she wasn’t going to let that one go because Lindsay was the only person!

The judge found Linsday guilty of not complying with the court order to attend all 27 classes. Lohan’s lawyer feebly tried to argue she missed 7 not the 9 the prosecutor claimed. Tomatoes Tomahtoes at that point! The judge wasn’t impressed! She rattled off Lindsay’s excuses of being on a film shoot and being stranded in various world locations.

Worse, the judge pointed out that during the drug charge, Lindsay denied everything, at one point saying “I don’t do drugs” when cocaine was found in her pants.

By the way, Lindsay’s (es)strange(d) dad, Michael Lohan, was at the hearing and again asked the judge to send Lindsay to residential rehab rather than jail. He’d written letters to the court previously, asking the judge to send his daughter to residential rehab so that she can get help for her substance abuse problem. Michael says that Lindsay has a prescription drug addiction, which not surprisingly, Lindsay denies.

Lindsay broke down in tears when the judge finally ruled that Lohan must serve 90 consecutive days in prison (30 for reckless driving, 30 for the first DUI and 30 for the second DUI) followed directly by 90 days in rehab. I don’t think Lindsay could believe it: she pleaded quietly with her lawyer, but of course there was nothing the attorney could do. That was the judge’s final ruling and the judge was dead serious.

The judge didn’t miss citing all of Lohan’s errors including trying to blame her DUIs on other people. Lindsay had said “the guy in the orange shirt” had been driving,  denying that she was. When he said no way, he was not the driver, the judge reminded Lindsay that what she had done was say “oh, it was the guy in the white shirt” who also denied it and Lohan was proven to be the driver.

Lohan’s surrender date — meaning the day she has to start serving the 90 day jail term followed by 90 days in rehab — is July 20. Linsday has 2 weeks of freedom, but can’t drink or drive (or drinkanddrive!). It’s sad that this came down to jail and forcing her to go to rehab, but maybe now she’ll realize how serious her problems really are! (Hopefully!)

By Sheri

HERE’S HOW PARIS PACKS FOR THE WORLD CUP

Looking at the photo of Paris Hilton all packed and ready to attend the FIFA World Cup soccer match in South Africa last week, it’s all so old school like how wealthy women used to prepare for a long cruise on the Titanic – steamer trunks, floral dresses and big hats. The only telltale, and tarty, sign of the times is her up-dress flash as she poses with her luggage.

When Hilton actually got to the World Cup, she managed to get accused of possession of marijuana. Being Paris though, she also managed to get out of it by sweetly charming everyone and convincing them of her innocence. If anyone knows that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, it’s Paris Hilton. Of course she doesn’t want flies, she only wants everything she does want and she knows how to be extra sweet and extra helpful to people so how can they resist her charms?

On Friday, July 2, Paris chirped on her Twitter page: “I was not charged or arrested, cause I didn’t do anything. I was assisting the police with the investigation and answering their questions. Everyone was super nice and friendly to me. I love South Africa.” Let’s face it, the girl has the skills to avoid any ills!

There was reportedly a court hearing for the pot possession charges at midnight of all times. Hilton’s pal, former Playboy playmate, Jennifer Rovero, fessed up to owning the marijuana. She paid about $130 US to avoid jail time and instead is forbidden to return to South Africa for 2 years.

By the way, the South African World Cup sure attracted a lot of celebs, didn’t it? Well, money plus time equals world travel! Not only were American ex president Bill Clinton and rock god extraordinaire Mick Jagger World Cup seatmates, Paris was spotted hanging out with Leonardo DiCaprio in Johannesburg.

By Sheri

MEL GIBSON,54, & HIS ‘BABY MAMA”, 40

In the ‘there’s a switch’ department, Mel Gibson filed a restraining order against his former girlfriend and ‘baby mama’, Russian musician/singer, Oksana Grigorieva. According to Radar Online, who first broke the story, Gibson filed the restraining order on Thursday, June 24 in the Los Angeles Supreme Court. Well either she’s a wacko psycho or he’s full of it and just trying to beat her to the punch as far as filing restraining orders go. The case is sealed and so far at least, no details have been leaked.

Before becoming involved with Oksana Grigorieva, Mel Gibson had been married to Robyn Moore for about 30 years. Moore filed for divorce in April 2009 citing irreconcilable differences. Mel and Oksana’s relationship barely lasted a year. It did result in the birth of Mel’s 8th child who is 7 months old. The baby, a girl named Lucia, puts Mel’s kid count at 2 daughters and 6 sons. Oksana has one other child, a son with ex-boyfriend, actor Timothy Dalton.

What’s especially weird about Mel filing a restraining order against Oksana is that when the pair broke up they announced they would stay friends. That soon changed to strictly co-parents and now, well, the restraining order relationship. By the way, I still can’t stand Gibson because of his proven antisemitic behavior – especially because he wasn’t sincere about his apology for it…

In the case of the relationship with Oksana, I hope Mel can work things out with her for the sake of all of their children.

By Sheri

AL GORE INVESTIGATED FOR “UNWANTED SEXUAL CONTACT”

Al and Tipper Gore, Married May 19, 1970

Oh how the mighty have fallen. Al Gore, went from a Tennessee senator to Vice President of the United States to a Nobel Prize winner for his environmental work. He also had a long and seemingly successful marriage to Tipper (Aggh. What a name for a woman; it sound’s like a horse’s name!) The Gores shocked many people on the 1^st of this month when they announced their separation. You had to wonder if it was about an affair or something like that.

Well, ‘something like that’ came to light recently when allegations of “unwanted sexual contact” were made against Al Gore by a publicly unnamed masseuse. The alleged incident took place in October of 2006 at the posh Hotel Lucia in Portland, Oregon. Al Gore, age 62, checked in as “Mr. Stone,” and requested a massage. The masseuse, a 54 year old woman, said she was told the massage was to be for a “VIP client.”

According to the masseuse, Gore repeatedly behaved inappropriately toward her in a sexual manner. She said she massaged his stomach and he grabbed her hand to go lower (okay I don’t have to spell it out.) The masseuse said even after she refused to do that he started caressing her several times. The only really fishy thing to me is why this Portland woman approached authorities to handle the case in January 2009 when it occurred in October 2006. Portland police have found “insufficient evidence” to support the woman’s claims, but honestly, without a videotape, how is she supposed to prove something like that – especially when she waited so long to formally complain.

Shortly after the incident she alleged, the woman refused to be interviewed about it by police detectives. Twice in December 2006 she canceled appointments with detectives and her lawyer did the same thing again in January 2007. No wonder when she approached the police in January 2009 things didn’t really get off the ground. I don’t know what she expected but certainly the Gores’ marriage ended because of the allegations. Still, the fault wouldn’t be hers, but rather Mr. Gore’s, or should I say, “Mr. Stone’s!”

By Sheri

MICHAEL JACKSON DIED JUNE 25, 2009

Exactly 1 year to the day after Michael Jackson’s death, his father, Joe Jackson, filed a lawsuit against Dr. Conrad Murray. On Friday, June 25, 2010, Joseph Jackson filed a wrongful death suit against his son’s doctor based on negligence. It’s been rumored that the lawsuit mentions a figure of about $75,000 for medical negligence. Obviously the choice to file the suit on the one year anniversary of Michael’s death was strategic on Joe ‘s part.

Doctor Murray is still denying he’s responsible for Michael Jackson’s untimely death at age 50 and has pleaded not guilty to charges of involuntary manslaughter. I don’t really understand this because well, voluntary manslaughter means killing someone on purpose and that’s very unlikely that Dr. Murray would do that. For one thing, apparently he was being paid very handsomely to be the superstar’s doc. But, involuntary manslaughter means killing someone by accident and if the cause of Micheal Jackson’s death is the drugs that Dr. Murray administered, well then that’s involuntary manslaughter isn’t it?

Ah let’s leave that to the law experts, but also let’s not forget that the drug, propofol, that Dr. Murray administered to Michael Jackson is an anesthetic designed for hospital use to knock patients right out before surgery. It’s so sad, and extremely creepy, that Michael Jackson had such problems sleeping that he hired this doctor to totally knock him out in this way on a regular basis apparently. Isn’t a doctor then to be held responsible for doing this? We’ll have to wait and see what the courts say… But…

I can see why Joe Jackson is suing Dr. Conrad Murray and why he chose the 1 year death anniversary date to file the lawsuit. I totally can’t see why he had the nerve to blame his wife and Michael’s mother, Katherine, for Michael’s death. In the British paper, News of the World, Joe said that If Katherine would have “went and been with Michael” his untimely death wouldn’t have happened. Oh well then, Joe, no need to sue Dr. Murray anymore?

By Sheri

TORI SPELLING PENS HER FEARS IN NEW BOOK

Tori Spelling is promoting her third book, the stupidly named, IMHO, “Uncharted Territori” (It’s like oh let’s find any word with “Tori” in it for the title – what’s next, V for Victori? Or a cookbook, Chicken Cacciatori?) Anyway, she looked great (other than appearing almost alarmingly too thin) in her yellow dress that matches the book’s cover when she appeared at the Warner Center’s Borders bookstore in NYC recently.

I have to say that I think she has many good qualities and loved both her shows, “Tori and Dean Inn Love” and “Tori and Dean; Home Sweet Hollywood” even though I loathed her Donna character on the original Beverly Hills 90210. In “Uncharted Territori,” Tori says she is worried that her husband, Dean, will “cheat.” In an interview with Ryan Seacrest, she explained “I’m a normal girl and I worry about that stuff. You know how girls are.”

Well, let’s get real. Dean was married (to Mary Jo Eustace, the former host of the tongue in cheek Canadian cooking show, What’s For Dinner) and had a child when he dumped his wife to be with Tori. She wouldn’t be “normal” (or sane) if she didn’t realize that he could do the same thing to her that he did to his first wife.

What I really like about Tori Spelling though is that she’s aware of how important fans and marketing are when you’re in show biz (not like scowl faced, frequent complainer, Kristen Stewart). When more fans than expected turned up at the NYC Borders book signing, Tori stayed to make sure she signed her books for all 500 people in line even if it meant skipping dinner (not what she needs!) and missing a book party.

She ended up getting to her party at about midnight – about an hour and a half after it was originally supposed to end. (I ‘m glad to hear she ordered pizza as soon as she got there and ate 3 pieces.)