By Sheri

BRITNEY PAYS BACK MEL GIBSON

Well there’s someone who appreciates Mel Gibson’s phone calls – Britney Spears. She and Gibson have been exchanging late night telephone calls recently. Apparently Mel’s been confiding in Britney that he’s worried his career is over (hopefully it is!) It seems it’s just like the story of the mouse who pulls the thorn from the lion’s paw and the grateful lion says he will pay back the mouse… Only Britney Spears is the Lion and Mel Gibson is the Mouse (yeah, The Mouse Who Roared!!!)

In February of 2009, Gibson “reached out” to Spears during one of her scandals. Gibson appeared on the Jimmy Kimmel show saying that Spears was “a nice kid” who succumbed to drugs. Mel Gibson said: “She’s lining up to be stoned. I just thought ‘Is anyone reaching out to her?” So, I just called her. She’s doing great now.” This was during the time after his earlier scandals when he was doing what he could to adjust his image. (The guy can be really charming, but if you look close you can see the crazy eyes!)

It was Britney’s father who did a lot at that time to get her back on track. I wonder if Mel Gibson’s parents are still alive or if any of his relatives – even back in Australia could “reach out” to him and get him to check in to get some professional mental help. I wish Mel Gibson would be on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew which is the only thing I’d ever watch him in again anyway. Drew could tackle Gibson’s addiction to racist, sexist, threatening, panting phone rants!

Anyway, I guess Britney feels obligated to help Gibson as he helped her, but really just phone calls like that isn’t the help this loony tune ranting sicko needs!

By Sheri

MICHAEL LOHAN:  SHAMELESS MEDIA HOG OR DOMESTIC ABUSER?

Oh man! You know how psychologists always say that if kids who are starving for attention can’t get the positive kind, they’ll go for the negative? Well, Michael Lohan may have Peter Pan Syndrome (among other problems!) because he just can’t stop trying for as much media attention as humanly possible. Even his past partner in (starved for media attention) crime, Jon Gosselin, seems to have stopped begging for a talk show or interviews or the chance to publicly dis Kate ever single chance he could!

But Michael Lohan never stopped. I was almost (I said almost!) even starting to think that his primary motive was caring about his daughter, Lindsay Lohan, as he brought her water in court when no one else would and called out “We love you, Lindsay” as she was cuffed and ready to be taken to her jail cell. But very, very soon after that…which was just after appearing on every talk show he could (with his lawyer, Lisa Bloom, WTF did he need a lawyer for other than to add more drama?) to talk about his daughter going to jail…

Michael Lohan is in the news right away again in a story that his fiance, Kate Major, was now his ex-fiance because she was charging him with domestic abuse. According to Major, Lohan threw a shoe at her which caused her to hit her head on a wall and he pushed her off her chair, then kicked her when she was on the floor. (Oh Lordy! WTF?)

Kate Major insists that Michael Lohan then said “I am going to go back to jail because I’m going to kill you.” Whether he’s a bad domestic abuser or doing it to try to get more media attention by trying to pull a fake Mel Gibson and then be faced with jail to keep being tied to his daughter for media fame, it doesn’t matter cuz either way, the guy’s a total jerk!!!

What is wrong with this Kate Major? She dated Jon Gosselin then gets engaged to Michael Lohan? BTW, Major was pissed when Gosselin denied he ever dated her. “Jon is a liar!”  Major insisted. “I would love Jon to take a lie detector test.” Yeah, well I would love for Kate Major to take a jerk detector test to help her figure out why she keeps dating total losers like Jon Gosselin and Michael Lohan!

(BTW, on the off chance that anyone gives a flyin’ damn, Michael Lohan’s court date for the domestic violence harassment charge is set for August 18 in Southampton, New York.)

By Sheri

WTF HAPPENED TO SERENA WILLIAMS’ FOOT?

As Judge Judy says, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!” Serena Williams just announced that she’ll be missing 3 tennis tournies right before the August 30 start of the US Open because she cut the bottom of her foot on broken glass in a restaurant and will need foot surgery to correct it.

Before anyone can confront her about the gaping, WTF holes in that story, she states she won’t discuss any details of the “accident.”

Now, how does a person presumably wearing shoes cut the bottom of her foot on broken glass in a restaurant of all places? This makes no sense! No sense! And if by some miracle this really did happen, why would a person who stepped on some dishes barefoot and had some cuts on the bottom of her foot need surgery that would have her down for the count? At most, a few stitches maybe. (Hey, you know I once knocked the butter dish out of my aunt’s fridge, stepped on the glass from it in bare feet and didn’t even need stitches…)

THE BIG QUESTION: If Serena really hurt the bottom of her right foot like she says, then why was she wearing 2 bandages on the top of said foot in photographs taken at Denver Nuggets player, Carmelo Anthony’s July 10 wedding?

It really gets me pissed when people make up something totally unbelievable then refuse to talk about it!!! I don’t want to care. I don’t want to have to know what really happened. But damn it all, don’t insult my intelligence! Now the wheels of my mind are left to spin (so dangerous lol!) to try and solve the ridiculous puzzle of WTF happened to Serena Williams’ foot! It’s Sunday morning. I should be relaxing with the newspaper while eating Eggs Benny or something, but no, it’s Serena Williams’ stinkin’ foot that I’m thinking about. ARRGH!

By Sheri

WILL SMITH, JADA PINKETT-SMITH & TOM CRUISE
AT WEST L.A.’S SADDLE RANCH CHOP HOUSE

(WTF — DID TOM AND JADA SPLIT AN OUTFIT???)

Photo: Kmm/X17 Online

If you’re gonna make a sort of a Western love story movie and you want to try out a bunch of actors at a table script reading, then it stands to reason you’d want to take them to a Western-themed restaurant in West Los Angeles with a goofy name like The Saddle Ranch Chop House, doesn’t it? Well, if you’re Will Smith, then apparently it makes perfect sense cuz that’s just what he did recently.

Smith’s production company, Overbrook Productions, had a slew of actors at the eatery as a part of casting for the upcoming film, Paper Wings. The movie’s about a romance between a rodeo star and a wannabe country singer. The rumor so far is that Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz are up for the lead roles, but that’s only a rumor. (Another one is that Will Smith is starting to get into Scientology…)

Among the other actors at the Saddle Ranch table read were Reese Witherspoon and Tom Arnold. (Can you imagine them together in the leads? Oh no, that’s just all wrong!) Maybe Tom Arnold is being considered for a supporting role… It’s interesting that another ex-Roseanne sitcommer, Johnny Galecki (David) was at the read too. (Love him!) So was Jenna Elfman  (not from Roseanne, but had her own sitcom, Dharma and Greg).

I wonder if most actors think table reads are easier than on stage auditions? I guess it wouldn’t make much difference… or would it? Would any actors like to comment and prove me wrong? Go ahead — make my day!

Anyway, Paper Wings sounds like it could be good… I’d probably watch it. Now that I’ve boycotted all Mel Gibson films, I’ve got some openings in my movie watching schedule!

By Sheri

JESSICA SIMPSON AND ERIC JOHNSON IN ITALY

What a way to spend your 30th birthday – all low-key and lovey-dovey with your new boyfriend in Italy as well as in the company of a few old friends. That’s how Jessica Simpson did it as she turned the big 3 Oh on Saturday, July 10. Her friends and sweetie, Eric Johnson, surprised Simpson with a cake and the tone for the Italian trip was laid back just the way Jessica wanted it. She had commented to press that she wanted to get away to Italy to relax and apparently it was mission accomplished.

I guess she needed a break from filming the second season of her reality show, The Price Of Beauty. (I have to fess up that I haven’t seen the show yet. The one time I had the chance to catch it I passed on it for something else and I can’t even remember what!) Hey, though, I admire the woman! I’ve seen the way she stands up for herself and admire her for the way she handled the “chubby” remarks she so rudely received.  People can just be so judgmental and just mental..

Simpson’s fallen for another footballer this time, so hopefully the romance will end better than it did with Tony Romo. Interestingly, Romo broke up with Jessica on her birthday last year and now here she is on her birthday this year with a new football guy.

Eric Johnson, 30, hasn’t actually played football officially since 2008 due to an ankle injury the free agent suffered. Johnson’s played for the San Francisco 49ers and the New Orleans Saints. Apparently the word on the street is that Johnson is a nice guy who won’t hurt Jessica… (hopefully, he won’t embarrass her by announcing she’s “sexual napalm” either like that ass clown John Mayer did!)

By Sheri

MEL TELLS OKSANA: “I WILL BURY YOU IN THE ROSE GARDEN”

Sooner or later the truth leaks out. Sometimes, if you’re lucky, it’s on a tape recording. This is the case now as the mystery of Mel Gibson’s filing of a restraining order against his ex girlfriend and baby mama, Oksana Grigoreiva, recently now makes sense. He was likely trying to make it appear that she was the one out of control, but (thank God!) it seems he underestimated her intelligence and guts as Oksana taped some of Mel’s threatening, racist, sexist rants to her! (Good for her!)

After an alleged January 6, 2010 incident in which Oksana Grigoreiva claims that Mel Gibson struck her twice in the face while she was holding their infant daughter, Lucia, Oksana decided (brilliantly!) to tape record at least one of Mel’s tirades against her. Some of the voiced tape recordings were recently released to the media.

Oksana asks Mel “What kind of man hits a woman twice while she’s carrying a baby in her arms?” To this, Mel replies: “You f***ing deserved it!”

And there we go, admission of guilt right there. But Mel doesn’t stop there. He attacks Oksana for dressing too provocatively (well you left your wife of 30 years for her so you must have  liked the way she dressed, stupid Mel) telling her: “You look like a f***ing pig in heat and if you get raped by a pack of niggers (oh this is terrible and ignorant! What a loser!), it will be your fault.” (Oh and he also uses the terrible term “wetback” on these tapes to insult Hispanics!)

And still the Mel rants on…

“I am going to come and burn the f***ing house down, but you will blow me first.” (Oh what a romantic sweet talker.)

and on…

“I will bury you in the rose garden.” (Just creepy)

I’m embarrassed to think I used to have a celeb crush on the guy back in 1990 in Bird On A Wire. Well, ever since the DUI and his antisemetic drunken ramblings about Jews starting all the wars (ignorant AND *so* ironically wrong!) I’ve boycotted all his movies – no more watching reruns of Lethal Weapon 1,2,3 et al.

I wish everyone would boycott his movies!!!! (On the positive side, famed Hollywood agency, William Morris, just dropped their representation of Mel Gibson like a hot potato! (Yay W & M!!!) (W & M wanted to dump Mel after the antisemetic stuff, but kept him on after he publicly apologized. I don’t think that’s gonna help him this time!)

P.S. — Smartie that Oksana is, she’s stashed away pics from Mel’s alleged Jan.6 beating of her. The photos, which show Oksana with black eyes and missing front teeth, should soon surface… (I wish OJ’s ex, Nicole Brown Simpson’s beating photos would have been made public a lot sooner too!!!!)

By Sheri

LINDSAY LOHAN HAS ONLY 2 WEEKS OF FREEDOM LEFT

Lindsay Lohan appeared in the Beverly Hills Municipal Court this afternoon for her probation hearing. (She entered the court a smart 10 minutes early and was dressed much more conservatively than last time.) Her expression looked rather indignant, yet also alert and concerned as she scribbled something on a legal pad (as well as F****You on  her left middle fingernail apparently!) during the prosecution’s grilling as the prosecution told the judge that Lindsay violated the terms of the probation. Stemming from her 2007 DUI, drug possession and second DUI, the judge had ordered that Lohan was to attend alcohol education classes regularly.

The prosecution argued that Lindsay had missed 9 classes. The judge looked through excuse reports from the alcohol education center. Lindsay herself spoke saying she wasn’t taking this as a joke and didn’t know she was thought to be in violation. She was given permission from the center to make up the times she said; due to her career she had a different schedule than most people (this is true — film business, but still). The judge said that she had ruled that no matter what Lindsay was to have gone to every class without missing any.

The prosecutor grilled the co-owner of the alcohol education center, Cheryl Marshall, who seemed scared to death and confused. Marshall testified that Lohan did go to the classes including group classes. The prosecutor had to ask Marshall several times how many people were in the group classes — she wasn’t going to let that one go because Lindsay was the only person!

The judge found Linsday guilty of not complying with the court order to attend all 27 classes. Lohan’s lawyer feebly tried to argue she missed 7 not the 9 the prosecutor claimed. Tomatoes Tomahtoes at that point! The judge wasn’t impressed! She rattled off Lindsay’s excuses of being on a film shoot and being stranded in various world locations.

Worse, the judge pointed out that during the drug charge, Lindsay denied everything, at one point saying “I don’t do drugs” when cocaine was found in her pants.

By the way, Lindsay’s (es)strange(d) dad, Michael Lohan, was at the hearing and again asked the judge to send Lindsay to residential rehab rather than jail. He’d written letters to the court previously, asking the judge to send his daughter to residential rehab so that she can get help for her substance abuse problem. Michael says that Lindsay has a prescription drug addiction, which not surprisingly, Lindsay denies.

Lindsay broke down in tears when the judge finally ruled that Lohan must serve 90 consecutive days in prison (30 for reckless driving, 30 for the first DUI and 30 for the second DUI) followed directly by 90 days in rehab. I don’t think Lindsay could believe it: she pleaded quietly with her lawyer, but of course there was nothing the attorney could do. That was the judge’s final ruling and the judge was dead serious.

The judge didn’t miss citing all of Lohan’s errors including trying to blame her DUIs on other people. Lindsay had said “the guy in the orange shirt” had been driving,  denying that she was. When he said no way, he was not the driver, the judge reminded Lindsay that what she had done was say “oh, it was the guy in the white shirt” who also denied it and Lohan was proven to be the driver.

Lohan’s surrender date — meaning the day she has to start serving the 90 day jail term followed by 90 days in rehab — is July 20. Linsday has 2 weeks of freedom, but can’t drink or drive (or drinkanddrive!). It’s sad that this came down to jail and forcing her to go to rehab, but maybe now she’ll realize how serious her problems really are! (Hopefully!)

By Sheri

HERE’S HOW PARIS PACKS FOR THE WORLD CUP

Looking at the photo of Paris Hilton all packed and ready to attend the FIFA World Cup soccer match in South Africa last week, it’s all so old school like how wealthy women used to prepare for a long cruise on the Titanic – steamer trunks, floral dresses and big hats. The only telltale, and tarty, sign of the times is her up-dress flash as she poses with her luggage.

When Hilton actually got to the World Cup, she managed to get accused of possession of marijuana. Being Paris though, she also managed to get out of it by sweetly charming everyone and convincing them of her innocence. If anyone knows that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, it’s Paris Hilton. Of course she doesn’t want flies, she only wants everything she does want and she knows how to be extra sweet and extra helpful to people so how can they resist her charms?

On Friday, July 2, Paris chirped on her Twitter page: “I was not charged or arrested, cause I didn’t do anything. I was assisting the police with the investigation and answering their questions. Everyone was super nice and friendly to me. I love South Africa.” Let’s face it, the girl has the skills to avoid any ills!

There was reportedly a court hearing for the pot possession charges at midnight of all times. Hilton’s pal, former Playboy playmate, Jennifer Rovero, fessed up to owning the marijuana. She paid about $130 US to avoid jail time and instead is forbidden to return to South Africa for 2 years.

By the way, the South African World Cup sure attracted a lot of celebs, didn’t it? Well, money plus time equals world travel! Not only were American ex president Bill Clinton and rock god extraordinaire Mick Jagger World Cup seatmates, Paris was spotted hanging out with Leonardo DiCaprio in Johannesburg.

By Sheri

BRITNEY SPEARS’ NEW CLOTHING LINE FOR CANDIES OUT TODAY

It’s the best of times and the worst of times for Britney Spears today. July 1, 2010 marks the availability of the fashion line she designed for the Candies brand. The collection is being advertised in a series of ads featuring Spears wearing her designs.

The collection, that includes jeans, jackets, mini skirts and mini dresses, is ready for sale in Kohl’s stores. There shouldn’t be any reason that Britney’s line won’t sell, sell, sell to her targeted back to school crowd. (The fact that the dresses and skirts barely cover one’s ass(ets) shouldn’t stop them from selling – hopefully girls will wear the jeans underneath!)

As if to purposely put a damper on things, Spear’s former body guard, Fernando Flores, has chosen this time to make some shocking child abuse allegations against Britney. According to Flores, she beat one of her two sons with a belt and fed them both foods they’re allergic to which caused them to have reactions. Child services agencies will be investigating the allegations, but come on! If Flores was so concerned about the kids, why would he wait to report these things?

Could it not have something to do with the sexual harassment charges Fernando Flores filed against Britney Spears recently? Flores said he felt pressured to quit, which he did, because Spears’ wanted to sleep with him. (Something about his charges combined with waiting about reporting the alleged child abuse just doesn’t add up somehow.)

Fernando commented to the press that Britney would call him into her bedroom and would walk around naked. However, he also said she would walk around the house naked yelling at the staff and apparently no one else is suing for sexual harassment! Judging by the things Britney wears, or doesn’t, the girl probably just doesn’t like wearing too many clothes…

By Sheri

MEL GIBSON,54, & HIS ‘BABY MAMA”, 40

In the ‘there’s a switch’ department, Mel Gibson filed a restraining order against his former girlfriend and ‘baby mama’, Russian musician/singer, Oksana Grigorieva. According to Radar Online, who first broke the story, Gibson filed the restraining order on Thursday, June 24 in the Los Angeles Supreme Court. Well either she’s a wacko psycho or he’s full of it and just trying to beat her to the punch as far as filing restraining orders go. The case is sealed and so far at least, no details have been leaked.

Before becoming involved with Oksana Grigorieva, Mel Gibson had been married to Robyn Moore for about 30 years. Moore filed for divorce in April 2009 citing irreconcilable differences. Mel and Oksana’s relationship barely lasted a year. It did result in the birth of Mel’s 8th child who is 7 months old. The baby, a girl named Lucia, puts Mel’s kid count at 2 daughters and 6 sons. Oksana has one other child, a son with ex-boyfriend, actor Timothy Dalton.

What’s especially weird about Mel filing a restraining order against Oksana is that when the pair broke up they announced they would stay friends. That soon changed to strictly co-parents and now, well, the restraining order relationship. By the way, I still can’t stand Gibson because of his proven antisemitic behavior – especially because he wasn’t sincere about his apology for it…

In the case of the relationship with Oksana, I hope Mel can work things out with her for the sake of all of their children.